Farewell to the Married Man

Girl 1:“You two are perfect together”

Girl A: “You’re so lucky”

Girl ?:“I hope I find my true love one day”

Farewell, I don’t need the grandeur.

Yea, I get it. I’m sooo damn lucky I found my true love at a young age. We’ve been together forever. We are two halves. I hate to throw stones, but that euphoric haze of a six month relationship you’re in can’t last forever. You don’t ‘find your true love.’ It’s not going to plop in your lap like some fairy tail. My wife and I had to work for it. It’s ups and downs and there will be downs. So if you’re not ready for them at their worst, if you don’t love them,  it just wont work.

Me: “Jeez, look at that. The things I would eat out of her…”

Guy 1: “Dude…you’re married”

Me: “Yea…wish my wife were here, she’d probably agree”

I don’t need the concern.

Look, my relationship is fine, good, golden bro-ski. This ain’t my first go at this, regardless of what I may be complaining about that day. It’s not a game changer until I start saying things like “Man, I just love spending time with her.” So if you have not watched at least 3 seasons of Project Runway or some derivative, save your breath. I don’t need your perspective unless I ask for it. I’ll do me and  you do you.

Pervert Friend: “What if she went lesbo?”

Concerned Friend: “Wouldn’t you get jealous?”

Muscular Friend: “What if I would hit on her?”

I don’t need the contest.

Just glancing blows. The fact is, no matter how established, how intellectual, or how much your Dead Lift is, you’re not me. That’s right, I have that much self confidence. I need not be defined by my wife hanging off my arm. I am stronger than that. So go ahead and flirt, I must have made a good choice. I love my wife and she loves me and I can assure you no random encounter will change that.

Girl 1: “He’s such a nice guy”

Girl B: “He’ll make a great dad”

Girl ?: “What a great friend”

I don’t need the stereotype.

I may be married, but I am still a 26 year old man. I like to go out. Do things. I have interests. I am not always staying at home watching reruns with the wifey. She has interests too.  Stop putting me in some special category, tossing me in the zone. If you see me on the street, take it from hello to goodbye and everything in between.